Power, Boundaries, and Dynamics

Welcome to Episode 10 of The Essence Reveal Podcast. I am honored to have you at my table, and I’m really excited to talk about something we all deal with every single day: Power, Boundaries & Dynamics.

You’ve been dancing a life dance for a long time, likely a slightly different variation on the same dance with the different partners, friends, and communities. And Just like a professional ballroom dancer, you know how to do this life dance well, especially with the people closest to you. The slightest change of hand pressure, the subtlest shift of the shoulders, or the smallest move of the hips indicates the next move in this practiced dance analogy. Just like with our people, the slightest change of gaze, the subtlest alteration of posture, the smallest move of the lips, a minor shift of energy, we know how the dance goes.

So what happens when we change the dance? What if your whole life you’ve been doing the country swing, everyone is used to you doing the country swing, but now you feel the tango simmering inside you. As you try out your moves, how does it feel to you? How does it feel to others? It may feel awkward because your new moves don’t even go with the music that is playing; you may step on some toes or get your toes stepped on. People may look at you funny, people may not like that you are changing the dance. Some people will reject it, some will want to follow you, and some will just be confused and try to get you back to doing the old dance. You may be tempted to go back because it is certain and familiar and learning a new dance can be kind of hard. But as you continue to practice, you will create your own new ballroom that is playing tango music. Now you have a choice, you can dance the country dance if that serves you, you can tango if that serves you. You can teach others to do the tango and that might empower them to learn to waltz and they get to do their own dance.

Apply this analogy to your own life. As you are showing up more and more in your Essence, as you peel back those layers, you are doing your own dance. And one of the greatest things about this is that it then empowers others to do their own dance. Some people will reject you, some will follow you, and some will try to get you back into the old dance, but ultimately YOU get to decide. These are your boundaries. Depending on the purpose and consciousness with which we set up our boundaries, they will feel different, creating a dynamic where we feel we need to defend, be combative, and unconsciously invite people to cross them. I love this quote by Russell M Nelson who said “Our Boundary lines don’t have to be Battle lines.” Wise words!

Setting the dynamics of your relationships from a place of ownership, vulnerability, and responsibility by knowing, setting, and upholding your own boundaries creates powerful relationship dynamics of creativity, contribution, and connectedness.

I hope from this information, you can create the most empowering essence-based relationships in all your interactions.

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